He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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