Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
