uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
