Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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