i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
And then he peed in my hair
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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