Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
