you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
