dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
