Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
