We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
