i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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