she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize