I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
