If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
