Do vagina's smell?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
