just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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