My first STD was from a foam party
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We need to rekindle our bromance
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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