my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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