My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
