How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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