dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
