drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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