Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
