I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
