She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Come see our sink grown plant.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
