I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
3 2 1 whiskey
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
