Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
