4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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