she was so not down for the gang bang
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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