if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
