dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
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