So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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