Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
