Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
