Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
