You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am mentally ready for anal.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
