Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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