It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
