yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
