New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So squirting runs in the family.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
