I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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