and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Randomize
