Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
