my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
