Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
