Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I understand Curling. That high.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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