I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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