remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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