I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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