My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
