and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
