i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
