Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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